Spring Semester

That fresh smell of dorm hallway permeates the air, as the Fairfield stags gallop back to college, and begin being herded into classrooms, where they will learn how to avoid being hunted down by this economy. Naturally this smell will disappear after a few weeks of partying learning.

It snowed on the first night back, which hasn’t happened since the Halloween Snowpocalypse (pun credit goes to whoever edits The Mirror).

I’ve had each of my courses once thus far, and I have some great professors.

The first class is Christian Feminist Theology. We had an hour long lecture by a woman who’s last name is “Shampoo” (our professor tried to be polite and pronounce it like “Sham-poe”, but the speaker corrected her, saying that it is indeed pronounced like the hair care-product we all know and love). She said that she’s “heard all the jokes”. She showed us pictures of Jesus that were used by nuns in the middle ages (I assume she meant Western Europe, but she never actually said where the images were used, and I didn’t think to ask), to depict him as feminine, in order to appeal to women. She also said something about Jesus’ image being used erotically, something I doubt anyone in the class really grasped. I suspect there’s a huge amount of speculation involved (an image of a women wielding a spear supposedly symbolizes “penetration”), and when I asked Ms. Shampoo (her first name is Nel, I only remember this because I wrote it down) she basically admitted as much. The reading so far is much drier than I’d hoped, but I’ll find a way to make things interesting.

The second class is Art History. The first thing we did when we walked in was to pick up a blue piece of paper. We were told that this is a “Quiz”, and to take it very seriously. While we were filling it out, he warned us that our posture told him a lot about our intentions. Upon realizing the point of this quiz, I decided that this guy was going to be a great professor. The top part of the quiz (about 3/5ths or so) asked questions like “Who started the cubist movement?”, “Name four countries that border Iraq”, “Who painted ‘Starry Night’?”, “Name the 2 senators in your home state”, “name 3 supreme court justice”, “who is the secretary of state”, “where do you receive your information about current events on a daily basis?. I was able to fill out most of it, but was embarrassed to realize I could not name a single supreme court justice.

The bottom half contained questions about things like Jersey shore (which, for the record, I have not watched, and don’t intend to). I didn’t do so well, but to be honest I purposely didn’t try so hard. His point was of course, to make us realize that for a relatively competitive American University, our knowledge of the world is almost nonexistent. Our knowledge of what he calls “trash culture” is much better however.

He said a lot of things, most of which I found entertaining/interesting. He said this would be one of the most “meaningful” courses we’ll take at college.

I’m also taking a course on comedy. We write about things that make people laugh.

I’m taking a course on playwriting. We write plays, and have our professor tell us how great everything we write is.

And finally, I’m taking an art course, which involves some drawing, some painting, some photography, and some sculpture. The professor is very relaxed about everything, which I like.

I also started LEAD II (LEAD I having been last year), and we made definitions of leadership, and then played “What’s in a name?” wherein each of us went up to the whiteboard (does a true leader get all shaky and nervous when he talks to a group of 25? Because I do…) and wrote his/her name, and then talked about it. I mentioned being named after John Raymond and Peter Shea, and how some people have figured out that you can sing “John Peter Driscoll heimer schmidt” and it sounds pretty close to the song.


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